You see this photograph? Imagine me to the left of the woman, that's where I should have been. I was there until the photographer; Ómar "Asshole" Óskarsson unceremoniously pushed me out of the way.
The woman is my friend, actor/director Mary Neely
. To her right is with my other friend, director Josema Roig
. I met them during my time with the Transatlantic Talent Lab at the Reykjavik International Film Festival
in Iceland earlier this month. The picture ended up running online as part of an article about the event we were at during the festival. This is my life
Why couldn't I have been in the picture? I would have loved a little press, even from a small Icelandic website (is small redundant as it's Iceland?).
During a bus ride, hours before the now infamous "Picture Push 2014," I was talking to a Golden Egg nominee, Ian Waugh
about a pending Q&A of his film "As He Lay Falling
," set to screen later that night. He was a bit nervous about talking about his film and relaying to me about his disdain for Q&As. I told him that it was my dream to have a Q&A. Often times I sit back and imagine being in front of an audience waxing poetic about my work. Even though I have had many festival screenings, none have ever included a Q&A. Many filmmakers dream about Oscars and Emmys, I fixate on doing Q&As. I'm a simple man. My point? I love getting press and/or attention for my career, it's important to me. I'll move on.
Famed movie producer Robert Evans
once said: " There are three sides to every story: Your side, my side, and the truth. And no one is lying. Memories shared serve each differently."
[He also said a bunch of other crazy shit, so take that quote with a grain of cocaine.]
So as succinctly
as I can, I will try to recap the events according to me, of how I ended up just slightly to the left of frame in the above picture.
During the event, I was walking back inside with Mary from watching a lovely sunset beyond the Atlantic Ocean. On our way in to the greater part of the room, we spotted Josema. At that very moment, photographer Ómar "Asshole" Óskarsson swooped in to capture the trio of 'up and coming' filmmaking talent. Well, that was my impression as I began to pose with my peers. To Ómar "Asshole" Óskarsson, I was just a vagabond looking to raid the event for the free food and drink, so he curtly shoved me out of the way. More accurately, he pushed me to the left of Mary.
When Joesma and Mary protested to Ómar "Asshole" Óskarsson that I should be in the picture, he ignored their requests and snapped a picture anyway. He said something in Icelandic and maybe had a reason for pushing me out; other than I would have just 'ugged' up his artwork. But since I don't speak that wacky language, I guess I'll never know.
I remember calling him a 'fucker' then walking away thinking I had the last laugh. I'm pretty sure calling someone a 'fucker' translates in any language. How do I know? Because after I hurled the insult, he shot me a snarled look that was most foul. Was it over the line? Maybe. But even more out of line was his shove of me away from my friends. It's not like I was photobombing
Well, it seems old Ómar "Asshole" Óskarsson had the last laugh as the picture of Mary and Josema made the cut and appeared on the site; out of the some 500 he took during the event. I'm sure every one was minus me. I discovered all this today when Mary posted the picture on Facebook. I honestly forgot about the incident until I saw the picture and it inspired me to write about it.
I could go on and on about my speculations about why I wasn't allowed to be in the photo, but it's more fun for you to look at the pictures he chose and make the determination for yourself. To me, the reason is pretty black and white
, but I'll let you discover your own 'truth.' Find the article with pictures HERE.
Oh, just in case your imagination isn't very good, I fixed the picture. Photo credit: Me and Ómar "Asshole" Óskarsson. See what I did there, Ómar? I shoved myself into the credit. Sucks, doesn't it?
Maybe someday I'll tell the tale of how I was shoved into the President of Iceland at a State event during RIFF. It was pretty funny and I'm 90% sure there is a picture of it somewhere. I'll see if I can track it down.
Hey Iceland, what's with all the shoving?